July 10th, 2010.
No I am not crazy and thought that we are a year behind. I am but commemorating the day that changed everything. At a time in my life which included much grief and heartache, God was faithful and good. Im always a little bit hesistent to tell people how we met....after all how do you tell friends and family that you met on a day you would do anything to erase? A day that epitomized the level of mistrust and hurt and sin my life and that I threw away friendships and morals for the sake of what?
If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is.-2 Timothy 2:13
God has always provided for me, and I have never doubted that. In fact it has probably been one of the reasons I had been so upset with God...He had stripped me of everything that I wanted....but never once failed to give me what I needed...he had taken my life long dreams of overseas work away, I had just gone through a failed relationship, and in my rebellious nature this justifed my motiviation for living for me, for associating with people who influenced me to let go of my morals and just "enjoy my 20's". Now I don't have anything bad to say about those people, and i wish the best for every single one of them, but i recogonize that my association with that lifestyle, was not pleasing to God, and was leaving me feeling empty and lonely, dispite being with people every weekend till 1 or 2 in the morning. I was hurt by people, and felt betrayed by God. BUT.......
but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
But God used a night that i had intended for self indulgence, and pleasure...and gave me a gift. Crazy eh. Why would a God who calls for holiness, respect, faithfulness, give me...a sinner in the depths of my sin...a gift? I am competely blown away by this every time I think about it, every time I look at my amazing fiance...What kind of God takes a night intended to throw everything hes given you back in his face...and says.."here, i have something special for you". What kind of love is this, God places a christian, who is patient, and loving and everything i could ever want...in a limo beside me on the way to a bar, and ignites a desire in him to want to know me more.
...in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
As I sit here one year later, Engaged to the most amazing man I have ever met, finally going to school to become qualified to work with people in need, spending my summer working for a church. I am humbled. I feel like the prodigal Son who has been welcomed back home by a father with open arms...a father that should be holding me responsible for the hurt i have caused him when I took what he gave me and squandered it, but he has recieved me insted with open arms and has said....guess what. I love you, i want the best for you, and im going to give you not only my love...but im going to give you a earthly demonstration of it in a man who loves you enough to marry you. And in less then 11 months...will give me the great feast and a wedding.
Thank you Paul for seeing potential in me when I was in a bad place and loving me to enable to be who I want to be, and thank you God for giving me such an amazing gifts because of a love so strong that it cannot fail.
